


Nevermind

by redlizard_rambles



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Modern Girl in Thedas, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26511124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlizard_rambles/pseuds/redlizard_rambles
Summary: This is just a little joking, a little poking, at the Modern Girl in Thedas trope/genre.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	Nevermind

Sapphire Versa pushed back her flowing jet black hair from her face, shocked by the expansive green sky. When she fell asleep during her history lecture hall, she didn’t expect to wake in a new world. 

Try as she might to wake up, she was unable and feared she would have to accept this as her new life. 

Her first step was to find some clothes; the warm and sunny Los Angeles climate didn’t translate an outfit that would work here in the frozen wasteland she found herself in. 

She made it about fifty feet before feeling suddenly very warm, and tired, wanting to take a quick nap after trudging through the unfamiliar snow. 

They would find her disfigured corpse the next spring. 

\--

_ This must be a nightmare _ , Bexley Bernard thought to herself, watching a ball of green fire hurl down from the sky. She willed herself a sword, but nothing appeared in her hands. Jumping out of the way from some sort of horrible beast, she found a fallen weapon. 

_ Just a dream, Bex. You can do this!  _ She hyped herself up. 

The shade ripped her apart with its fearsome claws, never giving her a chance to scream. 

\--

Vera White was quite happy with the turn of events. She always wondered what it would be like to live in a fantasy world, and after a tumble down some stairs which she surely thought meant her death, she instead woke up in Thedas. 

Having always wished for something like this to happen, she had spent years perfecting her skills for such a role. She was a decent shot with a bow, could hold her own during a sword fight, and knew several older languages as well as survival skills. 

She was able to quickly build herself a fire, one that created a lot of smoke, and was found by Inquisition soldiers and taken to Haven. 

Lying that she was a villager who got turned around in the snow, her nondescript clothes, while unusual, were not so out there, anyone had any reason to doubt her. 

She was quickly put to work with some other women in the Chantry, cutting rags into strips and boiling them for wounded soldiers. Without giving too much away, she used her wilderness first aid to help as best as she could and was quickly loved and respected by the people she worked with. 

Of course she missed her home with all of her modern things, and she missed her family and friends, but she was settling in well here. 

“Vera!” a sweet voice called with pounding on the door to the little hut she shared with a few other women. “You’re late for breakfast,” the voice said entering the space. The woman gasped, and called for a healer, but it was already too late. 

At her funeral, the women, while sad, were also confused. How on Maker’s snowy grass did Vera die from Winter-Cough? 

\--

Adele MacQuoid was quite pleased she was able to talk her way out of her predicament. Pretending to be a noble woman who lost her caravan, and thus why her clothes were so peculiar, she was given a warm room and drawn a bath and brought the finest food Haven had to offer. 

She was given a personal servant for the time, while they scrambled to figure out who exactly she was. 

As the servant helped Adele into a robe after the bath, Adele sneezed quite loudly and apologized to the woman. 

When the woman fell ill, no one thought anything of it. When everyone in her dorm fell ill, people took notice. 

Adele by now was aching, feverish, and with the chills, a thick green mucus pouring from her nose. Between her obvious illness, and the way she spoke so peculiarly, she was obviously a witch from the wilds to spread a plague. 

Templars took her away in chains, while she screamed it was just the flu. 

\--

Whatever power that was interested in dragging a modern human into the world of Thedas, sighed dramatically. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> We were discussing this in our DA Writing Discord, and I thought it was too cute to pass up. Enjoy!


End file.
